Sharing practices, insights, tips, explorations & stories related to meditative embodiment arts, perceptions, interpretations, wellness & life in its diversity.
This morning I saw another article by a women upset at men who wont continue to express interest, openness and chase her after she says directly clearly that she is not interested.
I won't continue to offer to & relate with people who hold confusing expectations & behavior like that in any type of context, though I've met women who hold those expectations.
Similarly, I know many women who appreciate receiving follow up messages and invitations for massages, and for other experiences personally as well, even if they don't respond to them for some time until they have space or changed circumstances in their lives. Which is why I sometimes send such out even if I've not heard back from people for a while.
Though of course it is certainly more mutually respectful, honest and clarifying to at least honestly respond even if briefly saying thank you, but I can't meet or relate in whatever ways yet.
It's challenging, confusing and misleading already how so many women are being taught to and normalize negatively projecting onto men ( or at least onto men they aren't attracted to, aren't rich or popular or coddling of them enough to their liking ) passive aggressively and directly misleadingly lying to and about men, then additionally abuse us by shaming and blaming us for rightfully feeling and honestly communicating our frustration, confusion, pain at how abusive, misleading such behavior is.
We are not future predicting psychics & mind readers!.
Many of us men, myself included, have grown up caring for women at least equal to and often more than ourselves and other men, due to age old chivalry and feminism conditioning and being raised by & around ( often selfish, abusive, male vilifying ) primarily women family members and teachers.
We are genuinely open to learning and equally respecting what you prefer during intimate and platonic relating experiences, adjusting if you want something different during relating, as long as you communicate openly directly honestly respectfully with us before expecting us to know and be able to and equally respect us and or equal humanity.
And we are burnt out, jaded by and sick of the constant one sided female idolizing, equal responsibility and accountantability rejecting, male shaming and blaming social justice and chivalrous attitudes and ideological demands.
Women need to stop mostly demanding rights without equally demanding to be held to equal balancing responsibility and accountability in all ways.
Finally step up individually and collectively, stop negatively projecting onto men and lying to us passive aggressively and directly then ignoring, shaming & blaming us for speaking up honestly admitting that is abusive, confusing, uncomfortable, misleading behaviors and we don't deserve it!
Stop flashing your sexuality around and exposing yourself to us even when we say we prefer to keep sexual relating to when a lasting friendship at least is mutually desired, then shaming us for noticing, trusting, feeling attracted and offering kind affectionate, or you assume we are.
Stop acting offended, upset and falsely blaming us when we honestly state our boundaries, and we don't want to be sexual with you.
Stop passive aggressively and directly exposing yourself sexually during massages & generally, acting misleadingly passive aggressive and directly dishonest then blaming and shaming us for trusting you and our kindly intentioned relating accordingly.
Respect us and our equally valid boundaries when we tell you one of our boundaries requires you simply directly honestly verbally communicate any boundaries & expectations you have to us men at the time of relating in any way before expecting us to know and thereby be able to respect such and for trusting you.
Stop using us for & expecting one sided flattery, attention, money, gifts, coddling, protection for you by us from effects of your own misleading, manipulative, entitled attitudes and behaviors.
Stop lying about your & other womens behaviors because you later decide to regret your choices, want to try to hide your or other womens affairs or attempts to do things you dont want to admit to or others to know about. Grow up and stop it. 🌱
Most of us men are loving ( but increasingly many of us honest, sane men are done with being silent meek "chivalrous" doormats cowering & apologizing for women's own misleading dishonest, narcissistic behaviors, negative projections and selfishness & effects of such ), kindly open, honor honestly directly stated boundaries once told.
And we reach out to women because we care, are honest and therefore trust women to be directly mutually respectfully honest with us too.
And because weve experienced many women appreciate who we are, and want what we offer.
And many women like sexual and sensual affection, even espouse loudly how it's womens right to be as sexually free as they desire yet scream and falsly blame men for respecting that we have no problem with women's rights except how so many females refuse to own their equal balancing responsibility and accountability for their negative projections, misleading, dishonest, narcissistic behaviors & how they act toward males.
The amount of women who have through the years and do directly & indirectly express sensual and sexual ( and their diverse intepretations of such many women often assume and demand I and everyone automatically default to knowing and sharing as the only right perspective ) desire and openness to me ( and some other men I've known ), some crazy women even threatening false accusations to try to hide their behaviors, during massages is so much more than I ever considered would occur when I started giving massages.
And is way, way more common than most in society understand or admit.
And I've been told by many women through the years that theyve felt so safe, nurtured, comfortable and skillfully massaged and related with by me that they feel and sometimes suggested I open up and give more intimately to more women through these contexts.
It is why I eventually became more accepting of and open to discussing sensuality, to not shame women ( and men ) for such desires.
Even though I still prefer to change & keep overt sexual relating to unpaid and ideally lasting genuine, honest affectionate relationships contexts.
Not demanding sexual relating with women, but of course kindly trusting women who seem open to such, and happy to continue platonic mutually appreciative relating regardless of if sexual aspects continue.
Yet I've been blamed and even fired from a couple jobs by feminists, and ostracized in some circles for simply daring to honestly mention such experiences, for simoly asking honestly for womens boundaries since they vary so diversely, and for many women's negative projections & dishonest behaviors and how it effects me and other men.
But many women do choose to passive aggressively & directly lie to and about us due to their own issues & projections and unquestioning coddling they demand.
Use us in one sided manipulative ways then act offended, ghost and accuse us of being abusive & manipulative if we honestly talk about this and respect our boundary for open honest communication, not being used selfishly and if we prefer to only give such if women are open to an honest lasting friendship ( sexual or not ) at least with us.
The deep narcissism, dishonesty, ease with which so many women negatively project onto, manipulatively lie to and about men without even flinching then accuse us of being abusive or creeps or demons if we dare speak up honestly in our and honesty support, is really turning us away from you.
It is why increasingly men who have dealt with a lot of women, and thus have also met both honest, mutually respecting and many, sometimes popular or physically attractive but narcissistic, manipulative, dishonest women in our work and personal life, are naturally becoming fristrated, angry, suicidal, depressed and dispirited at being treated so manipulatively.
Yet our equal humanity, feelings and experiences are more often ignored, mocked, blamed and shamed because we have an outie in this dishonest social propoganda of "believe women" which gives dishonest, selfish women encouragment to continue lying, manipulating and shaming honest, loving but due to such experiences naturally righfully angry men, often with unquestioning public belief & approval of women's lies.
It's destroying the potential for true equality.
And it is the main reason males commit suicide more than 4 times more than females.
Women want equality? Great, most of us men have always been and are totally supportive of that, but only when women equally demand and step up to own women's equal responsibility and accountability in all ways. Including being fully directly mutually respectfully honestly communicative with, empathic, listening to & caring for us men and our equal humanity.
Check yourselves too, recognize and own your negative projections and manipulative dishonest behaviors and how they effect us, yourselves and relational and life experiences.
Treat us men with the same equal full appreciation, honesty, kindness, respect, love you want to receive, and protection from your own and other women's and "chivalrous" white knight men's misandric female idolizing, male blaming attitudes and dishonest behaviors. When you really do this, you will discover the truth that far more of us men have been and are fully supportive of true equality and love for you too. But we're done taking your abuse and being shamed and blamed for it. Because we are equally love, honesty and respect worthy souls. We are life equally.💗