February 15th, 2018

A Raw Reflection of Being Appreciative Or Triggered By Honesty & Equality Of Treatment.

Recently I experienced another reality check of how deeply blinded by their own negative projections & dishonesty some people choose to be.

How wrapped up in disassociated projections & lack of empathy some become that they don't even care to communicate openly honestly. But instead blame people they negatively project onto, misleadingly lie to & ghost, for feeling confused & mislead and speaking up honestly about the negative effects of such.
To try to confirm their negative bias and disown the effects of those ways of behaving on relational experiences and the lives of those they treat in such ways. 

It is dishonesty, lack of empathy, gas-lighting and people feeling triggered based in being called out on their dishonesty & negative projection on overdrive.

Someone who had received a massage from me a couple years ago, even expressed enjoying it at the time and being interested in receiving another session, asked who I was when I sent an invite out to her and others a month ago. As she said she lost my number.

But after I responded to her the same day, she just ghosted. No response of any kind.
No "thanks, but I'm not interested anymore for --- reason". No honest communication with me about if she would like something different during massages or otherwise so that I could know and therefore adjust
in how I give.
No  "thanks, I'm interested now or at another time".

Then some time later when I sent an excerpt from the 2-10-2018 blog post to her and others, she suddenly responded with accusatory hostile projection and blaming me for trusting her previous expressed openness.

The post I made which she felt offended by and falsely accused me of making a "curse" on her with,
was - is about honesty.
My intention for my post, as is true with pretty much everything I do, say and offer, is one of affirming for people a meditative reflection about giving & receiving the same open direct honesty, appreciation and respect which one gives. Empathy. Authenticity.
As we are all deeply interconnected.
And honest open communicating is essential for co-creating mutual understanding and respect.

Apparently she really didn't like or feel comfortable considering being treated with the same ( lack of ) open honesty, respect and appreciation which she chooses to act with.

So she misinterpreted and claimed it as a negative curse.  Accusing me of being a horrible, manipulative evil person for speaking up for direct open honest communication and my deserving equal respect and empathy.

And blaming me for any other experiences I've had of anyone who has chosen, like her, to negatively project onto and lie to and about me then blame me again for speaking up about the unkind, misleading nature of that.

Blamed me for my feeling frustrated at times about & honestly admitting that being negatively projected onto is not interpreting me accurately, and being passive aggressively or directly lied to is misleading and violates my boundary for open honesty communication which I tell people about upfront.
That such projections and dishonesty is in fact confusing, misleading, and quite uncomfortable for me to be on the receiving end of. As it negatively effects my life, my feeling of safety and ability to trust, understand & relate clearly with people.

It is why I even have made signs in my space, on my website, and mention it in person - that honest, direct verbal communicating with me of peoples personal boundaries, preferences and feelings before expecting me to understand them is of core importance to me and one of my boundaries.

Open, honest communicating with people in order to co-create genuine mutual understanding, respect and authenticity, is more important to me than money, popularity, sex, material things, or pretty much anything else. I dont have attachments to giving in any particular ways with people. Or ultimately if anyone wants to receive from me.

I do however prioritize and respect my equal right & deserving of not only giving but equally receiving direct, openly honest communicating, authenticity and basic human empathy and respect in any kind of human connection.

While I appreciate money, having relationships of diverse kinds, kindness expressed through affection of all kinds,, I'm not attracted or willing to lie or be lied to or about in order to have any of those things.

It's partly why I've often been more solitary, with a few closer friends rather than large groups of "friends" who really dont really share honestly openly or deeply understand and care for each other.

But even though dishonesty is unattractive & disinterests me to continue directly relating with people who behave in such ways, in principle I am still naturally curious and open to honest communicating with each other, even if no longer relating in person, to emerge for the universal as well as personal mutual understanding, respect and harmony this develops. Even if from a distance. As this is also what heals the artificial divides, misunderstandings and dissonance so common in this world from the most personal to the global level.

Of course if someone does express openness, seems interested or last we knew has acted open to us in ways and we trust them, it is equally healthy and natural to believe them.
To appreciate, reach out to offer and want to share friendships, business partnerships, nurturing affectionate relationships, connection of any kind, skills, etc..
This is not at all bad, an inappropriate expectation or selfish. It is natural.

It is respecting that some people are honest and do genuinely appreciate what we offer & share.
And in some instances the last we knew, people we communicate with did or do still, too.
Including people we offer to who we don't yet know, may also be appreciative of any wide range of natural human relating invitations, connections, possibilities.


And because we don't truly know what we don't know and are not honestly communicated with about.

Honest assertive communicating, even a moment of clarifying honest frustration about the negative effects of being negatively projected onto and misleadingly ghosted, lied to and about, is not abuse, controlling or "negative".

It is rightfully assertively expressing a healthy boundary.
It is myself, and others, standing up and no longer being a constantly meek, "nice" doormat for others to wipe and blame their abusive negative projections, fears, misleading passive aggressive and direct dishonest behaviors onto. 

Open, honest communicating with each other, combined with mutual appreciation and respect for our kindredness & diversity is really the most important quality, I feel.

May we all wake up and relate with this open, direct honesty and respect for our equal humanity as core. 💗