Boundaries. Honesty. Policies.
In my opinion, one of the most important qualities, choices of attitudes & behaviors, is honesty. Including honesty that some people may feel offended by or uncomfortable at my ( and at men in general ) admitting, as it may expose certain normalized abusive hypocritical, negatively projecting confirmation-biased attitudes, assumptions, lies, prejudices & behaviors committed against males.
One expression of this honesty includes that one of my boundaries for all people, women & men equally, is that I will not tolerate being treated in abusive, negatively projecting, passive aggressively and / or directly manipulative, lying, falsely accusatory ways.
I have met & know many mutually respectful, honest, wonderful women.
Women who I am deeply appreciative of.
Integral women who love, respect & support listening to, believing, loving & protection of boys & men from abusive lying women & policies, equally to what they want women to receive from men & society.
I have also, unfortunately, met & been subjected to more than a few abusive, manipulative lying, selfish women. Women who violate my boundaries, lie & try to excuse doing so simply because they are female & I am a male human being.
And I have experienced some people falsely assume their honesty & support them ( online & otherwise ) & abusively wrongly vilify me simply because they are female & I am a male human being.
There are some shitty, abusive men in the world, unfortunately. Men which I detest for it.
However, contrary to certain confirmation-biased propaganda & people, there are also equally many abusive women who treat boys & men in abusive, manipulative, lying, falsely accusatory & hateful ways. They are the women who shame, falsely accuse of being predatory & unsafe & creeps, men who don't continue to allow us to be bullied into silence but we dare speak up about such & for equal care & protection of boys & men.
Both genders are equally human. Equally have light & shadow sides.
Equally loving or abusive.
And deserve to be treated equally in terms of equal rights & belief balanced by equal responsibility & accountability for their attitudes, behaviors and effects of such.
A frequent biased attitude at many schools I've attended, in mainstream media, social media & places I've previously worked include framing human resources & general policies & confirmation-biased attitudes as promoting caring for women, catering to women's subjective feelings, safety & claims.
But hypocritically usually dismissing, even scoffing & mocking about and not equally emphasizing listening to, believing, caring about & protecting males from abusive selfish & dishonest women & those who support such women simply because they are women & their victims are male.
I have always & still do genuinely care equally about women.
However, I will no longer quietly tolerate abusive, lying, manipulative & hypocritical misandric attitudes & behaviors from women or anyone who feels and acts like simply because they are female & I am male, they can abusively passive aggressively or directly manipulatively lie, negatively project onto me, violate my boundaries & lie about theirs & their behaviors, come on to me sexually then attempt to lie & falsely accuse me to try to hide their own dishonest or sexual behaviors.
As all such attitudes & behaviors are abusive to me, a human being who deserves equal empathy, care, belief & protection.
If I was a woman speaking about what Ive experienced from women who have done what they have to me & other men, as if it were men doing such, those same women would be rallying around demanding to "just believe" and support me as a woman.
Yet as man who has experienced abusive dishonest behaviors I have from women and their blind supporters, those same people instead tend to react hatefully, slander, libel, falsely accuse, mock and victim-blame me & other men who experience such and who dare not remain silent about it.
That is not true equality or emotional or spiritual maturity. It is hypocritical abuse, libel, defamation, slander, hypocrisy and frankly are psychopathic attitudes & behaviors from people who treat boys & men these ways.
One of my boundaries includes requiring women to own their adult responsibility & accountability for proactively & responsively directly honestly telling me when & if they have boundaries & preferences at any time during their massages with me exactly what, where & when such is before expecting me to know & respect such.
Which for mutual comfort & respect I always have & do respect when clearly told & understood.
Yet I have been treated abusively dishonestly & vindictively by some women. Including by some women because I have mentioned a fraction of some abusive, dishonest ways I ( and other men I know ) have been treated by some women & their blind supporters simply because our abusers are female.
And I've been treated abusively vindictively, dishonestly simply because I have declined specific women's sexual & other desires they wanted from me.
And falsely accused & vilified by some women for my merely admitting the fact that women have vastly diverse interpretations, boundaries, openness & preferences about what they want, are comfortable with, view as respectful and appreciate. And for asking women to please own their equality of responsibility for being honest, honestly directly mutually respectfully communicating their personal boundaries & preferences with me during their sessions before expecting me to understand & respect such, so I can & then always do for mutual comfort, clarity & respect.
As an example, multiple women who taught at, and many women who were also students at massage schools I attended, and many women I have encountered during my over 20 years as a certified massage therapist, promoted and otherwise express appreciative interest in including abdominal, chest & breast massage as part of massage sessions.
Many women have expressed feeling disrespected by people who view inclusion of these areas of the natural body as bad, something to shame or always exclude during massage sessions.
And far more women than I had initially ever considered would, indirectly or directly express preferences for inclusion of such and even overt sexual experiences during their massage sessions.
Many being indirect about it by releasing or assertively removing their sheet draping, even after I've asked them to hold the drape in place for clarity about their boundary generally & while I provide stretching during sessions.
Or by not stating a boundary even though I mention as I always do that one of my boundaries requires people who receive massage from me to honestly directly respectfully tell me what when & where their boundaries & preferences are in support of mutual clarity & comfort.
( I even have a sign - shown at bottom of this text box - in my office affirming one of my boundaries includes requiring both women & men to simply own their responsibility for honest direct communicating their boundaries & preferences to me for mutual clarity & comfort. )
Personally, I prefer anything of what I would consider sensual or sexual nature as part of massages ( which I've learned many women do want & seek even if they aren't honest about it with others ) & generally, to be something I only give or share with a woman who at least shares interest in maintaining an ongoing personal affectionate friendship or relationship.
Contrary to some false stereotypes about men, I and many men prefer reserving sexual & even overtly sensual affection for a woman who genuinely shares mutual care in an ongoing relationship & not casual sexual experiences.
While I have always done my best to be gentle, not shaming women for wanting more inclusion of areas even when more than I am open to providing with them or generally, I still do have personal boundaries.
Some women have respected my boundaries and owned their equality of responsibility & accountability for their feelings & behaviors and for clearly respectfully honestly directly telling me of their boundaries & preferences before expecting me to know & respect such equally.
And unfortunately some women have not respected my boundaries & have not been honest about their own misleading dishonest, negative projecting, and sexual behaviors.
More than a few women instead chose to be abusively dishonest, to lie by omission and / or commission, be vindictive & even try to falsely accuse me for not giving them a sexual experience they wanted or to try to not admit what they chose to do. And some just out of mean-spirited vindictiveness because I dared to speak honestly about such experiences instead of just quietly accepting abusive lying behaviors from females simply because they are female & I am a male.
Several of my first sexual experiences included being raped by older females & woman. One who used threats of false accusations to do so. As a massage therapist, I've encountered more than a few women who chose to relate in similar abusive manipulative dishonest ways.
And I personally know of many, many men with many similar experiences who have usually been shamed, disbelieved, falsely accused of being bad & mocked by women if they admitted it. Which is why many men remain silent about such.
Yet many women, certain ideologically possessed individuals and policies, tend to react angrily, offendedly dismissive, falsely accusatory & hateful at me ( and other men & even some women ) for daring to honestly admit such facts & even a fraction of our experiencing such.
Instead of being angry, offended by and demanding accountability of the many women ( & the gender biased policies and attitudes that blindly "just believe" & "empower" them simply because they are female & their victims are male human beings )
who have done & do such things to me & men
That is something I will no longer quietly tolerate.
And I will prosecute anyone who attempts to pull such abusive manipulative, lying, falsely accusatory behaviors toward me.
I believe in and support true equality.
Not bigoted truth-censoring confirmation-biased idolizing, assuming innocence & honesty & victimhood of females but negative confirmation-biased vilifying, assuming guilt & dishonesty & abusiveness of males by mere accusations and assumptive projected beliefs.
True equality = equal, never extra, rights & belief for females, balanced & earned by holding all females to equal honest full investigation, admission, responsibility, accountability & when needed punishments in all ways & contexts generally & for their attitudes, behaviors and effects of such.
And true equality = supporting boys & men's equal human rights. Equally listening to, giving male humans equal due process, belief, love & protection from abusive, manipulative, selfish lying females and people who "just believe women" who abuse, falsely accuse & lie by omission and or commission & otherwise abuse males.
I always respect women's directly honestly stated boundaries as long as they own their equal adult responsibility for their feelings & for simply honestly telling me what where & when their boundaries & preferences are before expecting me to know & respect such, so I can.
As long as their "boundaries" don't involve them abusively negatively projecting, lying, violating my boundaries and trying to censor and / or falsely accuse me & not be held accountable for doing so.
All the women who I've related with, and still do, who are honest with themselves and me ( including about what they do & about directly honestly stating their specific boundaries with me before expecting to have such known & not lying to me ) and treat me with equal respect, care and humanity as they want to receive, know & many have expressed being grateful for the authenticity, genuine caring, honest & respectful way I am, give sessions for & relate with them overall.
I am accepting of & respect women's varied ranges of boundaries & openness even when it is beyond my own personal preferences & comfort generally or with them specifically, as long as I am related with honestly & my boundaries are also respected.
These experiences are also why I am mostly giving clothed chair & sometimes clothed table massages for new clients - people now. And emphasizing providing massages in public locations, events, etc for most people who I don't already know well.
A sign in my office supporting mutually respectful
honesty, communication & clarity.
The images & videos below are not to infer all women are abusive, dishonest and "bad" but no men are also.
Sharing such is simply admitting much needed balancing honesty about the half of gender reality that certain biased ideologically possessed beliefs, propaganda, policies, movements & individuals choose to frequently ignore, mock & victim-blame males for experiencing & vulnerably honestly admitting happens more than rarely.
( I do not identify with any ideology.
I just don't tolerate hypocritical, dishonest confirmation-biased male vilifying / female idolizing ideologies, propaganda, attitudes, policies, people & movements. )
True equality naturally requires equally admitting, caring about, believing & protecting boys & men from such types of abusive, dishonest, manipulative, male victim-blaming & shaming individuals, attitudes, policies & behaviors.
The women in videos below provide long overdue balancing honesty about the half of equality & human experiences which certain groups of people & ideology ignore, try censoring & victim-blaming males for.
She shares much needed balancing honesty, empathy, love & support
for harmonious, honest, true equality supportive being & relating.
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